moonwork missive: first quarter 🌓
at the first quarter, i like to revisit my reality & practices; i treat it as a built-in second chance, restart, or course correction––sometimes of new moon intentions, but also anything. this is not always Work; it's not always something to be Done, but something to notice is already happening.
on saturday having lunch after a 4-hour family nap when i got home from clubbing at 7:30 am, my coparent looked at me & went, "welcome back! i missed you."
it turns out that going from treating clubbing like going to the gym for a decade, 2-5 hours of dancing a week, to lockdowns & then continued commitment to collective care like wearing a mask after everyone chose to go with the state eugenics flow & then having a baby––all of which resulted in no clubbing––pis Bad for me. i don't believe in good or bad as designators for people or morals [;
or any other type of absolute, but i do believe it is both possible & essential for each of us to pay attention to what is good & bad for us.
because part of why i party is to be an anonymous part of a collective body, doing it in a mask hasn't always felt really appealing, since it starkly differentiates me from the collective & makes many people more averse to me. i also hate to be conspicuous in public; it makes my skin crawl; it makes me agitated & dissociated.
but. i love to ride the bass & i love to become thoughtless & weightless, and i also specifically love the specific clubs i love. i love generous comfy seating fully inside the best sound system on the continent. i love security who isn't there to surveil what you're taking, but checks on anyone who looks out of it & kicks out harassers after one warning. i love cell phone bans. i love fags with their shirts off hanging from their back pockets. i love extremely extra party girls swishing their otherwise useless little shawls as they twirl around the edges of the dance floor.
i love the effortless metabolization & right-sizing of Things that happens when an adult is held by a more massive collective body. just as an infant needs the more massive adult body, so do adults need the more massive bodies of the collective & the beat & the land.
and. it's my birthday month & i saw that a DJ i've had on my radar for 7 years but never heard live was coming to one of my favourite venues, so i went. i avoided my least favourite thing about having a february birthday & forbade those i invited from RSVPing. doing toddler bedtime, then taking a disco nap, getting out of bed & getting ready & going is enough of a demand without fielding a steady stream of regrets that make it hard to stay confident & hype. it seemed rude (we'll say aquarian) to forbid RSVP's...but it was good for me. i've been partying alone since my first devastating lesbian breakup. & this time, just as i expected, almost no one came, but at least i wasn't cornered into reassuring them all it was totally fine, no worries, i completely understand!
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come practice live together on fridays, 12:30 pm ET for 30-45 minutes––practice loves company; practice loves repetition! video off or on as suits you, participation by silent presence or voice or chat as suits you <3